How would you like a way to detect when someone manipulates you? How would you like to be able to detect the means of authority the person in front of you uses to influence you? Would that be of any value to you?
You might know that I have worked for Microsoft before. It is now at the moment of writing a great company and it was a great company at the time I was their employee. I have sold of several millions for years. I have been wearing Italian suits and drove a BMW – oh what a wonderful car.
I used to start my conversations, hello Madam or Sir, I am Ioan Nicut from Microsoft. People got curious and respectful also because of the authority of the brand I associated with my name. I had a professional look wearing those suits, driving that car. Initially people respected me because of this professional authority. This is a first step use of authority to get into the others territory, to be allowed into the others space. Of course I am not my ex corporation, I am not my suits and BMWs. We are not our „bad” or „good” behaviors. We are rather our identity.
After getting into the client’s place I went learning more about the client needs. After listening curious about what the clients wanted I could play the role of the expert. I used the authority of knowing exactly what suited in specific situations at specific customers to fulfill their specific needs. That is the authority of an expert. Delivering consistently what the clients needed when they needed… These are real results, this is behavior. You deliver once, you deliver twice and so on. After that you just win the trust of the client. There is a lot of trust in the relationship and now you can build along with the client. Build something for a win / win relationship.
I was appointed once in a position of communicator and executive for a public organization. Communicating on behalf of the organization is using the authority of the organization. This is another example of use of an authority external to me. For what sake? Letting others associate the name of the organization is letting them use the organization authority for whatever their purpose is. I am a member of ICF, I graduated CTI. These are others examples of use of a external authority.
Questions for you, the client, to dissociate the person who uses an authority. What’s in it for me? How does she/he being a member or wearing a nice dress means she/he acts on my behalf?
What’s in it for me, your client, if:
you are the secretary / president / member of the organizations you are claiming?
you wear a nice suit?
you drive a great BMW?
you are an expert in ….?
What are your results (behaviors) that I can use to my benefit as being your client?
What are the real reasons you hire someone — including me?
What authority are you using in relationship with your external world?
Who you really are?
What are your comments? How do you detect how others use authority in relationship with you? What is their stake? What do you tolerate? Now that you are aware of it, what do you notice? What will you do different?