Did you ever try do to something really grandiose? Something that would make you get scared of your thought. What makes you get scared of your dreams? Who stops you achieving your dreams? Who stops you turning your dreams into reality. How do you get scared?
I know a guy… He’s quite loving. He gets scared pretty easy. He is tall and he does not look straight into the people eyes. Whenever he can he comes with his powerless seductive voice. He is a master of charming. He is just like a dog asking for attention, having the stance of a tall rabbit standing on his posterior feet. He is such an expert on getting my attention. Let’s call him the Saboteur… Johnny’s Saboteur, My Saboteur.
He trusts and buys all the stories when people leave off their power. He pretends is such an empathic person. He just enjoys when others are just like where he comes from. A place of weakness and lack of power, unable to change, to take what he really deserves. He thinks that being in this space of warm convenience is just everything what he needs to survive. Why bother to get more?
When I am into a space of courage he comes to me very subtle just like the snake Ka of the Jungle and tries to hypnotize me so I would buy that the client is not able to perform, the client got a problem.
Whenever something does not come up as expected he comes quickly and tells me: see I told you you are going to fail, but you know I will always love you. So why bother trying if you will fail anyway? If you still want to play and get what you deserve, although I doubt you will get it, I will be here, loving you, waiting for you.
Just in front of cold call, he gets attentive… and joins me carefully shouting at me….Hey, hey you, do not make this call. No one will respond to it… And if someone will respond you they will have a mean response for you. And if you succeed to walk over the call the person or the process will break down eventually. Don’t tell me I did not warn you…. what’s the point of all this fuss?
In front of the TV news. He just gets fascinated. What (re)trains this pattern of fascination? Well, bad news, scarcity, terror, poverty, incapacity, lack of capability. He keeps telling me that I could be one of those. Hey you What if you ARE one of those?
He keeps questioning my capabilities. Are you sure you can do that? Are you sure you deserve that? You are just not good enough… That task is just not perfect… What should you do to make it perfect…
In front of the decision to give or contribute without any immediate purpose. Hey, if you help this one, you will never get it for you? How can you give attention to the other? Who gives attention to you? Do not share precious information with others, because they will take your job, your clients, your market, your identity, your ideas… If I let the creative guy speaking, he can continue for ever!
In front of action that leads to a concrete result or outcome. He asks for more information. He enjoys getting into more information for the sake of processing… and not for the sake of learning. And than he makes scenarios… in infinite loops that do not lead anywhere.
What’s the name of your saboteur?
How does she/he get in you way?
What are the specific situations you saboteur comes into role?
What does she/he say?
Letting the saboteur playing subtle in your mind is like leaving somebody else ruling your life. I suggest the first step make a writing exercise just to name this guy, detect where she/he comes into action. What does she/he say… How does she/he sabotage you… What if you do it now?
Come back with your comments on this place… What do you think?